Just found my old diary yesterday evening, my diary from over seven years ago. So I was reading in it the whole night. It is like a novel: MY novel about MY life, MY moods, MY ups and downs. So many memories came up. I got so sentimental, because I could remember the feelings so well I had at that time. I recall all the adventures so clear, like no time had passed since then.
Some things were so much fun to read. Some dramas I went through at the time.
When I wrote it, it was the end of the world to me and now it’s just like nothing. In retrospect it was just something small, something meaningless and so not worth the pain. But it shows that everything will pass. That some problems are not really problems, and that they can be resolved so easily.
It always goes forward, never backward. After every rain the sun will shine.
And now I can see why these things had to happen. It took me where I am now, right where I’m supposed to be.
For example I wrote about something I was scared off. Something I had a bad feeling about. My gut instinct told me not to do it. But I did it. Well we all make mistakes….
But now after many years it was crazy to read, that I’ve had the feeling already at the very beginning, but wasn’t listening to myself. I had to go through all the trouble and pain first, before I learned my lesson.
But what doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger..
I always listen to myself now, to my inner guide. Because it is my life and nobody else has to live it.
The heart can play tricks, it makes you blind sometimes. The head is too rational, too logical, but the gut instinct, this feeling inside is always right. So trust it, trust yourself.
Some ‘mistakes’ I’ve made a couple of times until I have learned my lesson, some I’ve made just once and never again.
It makes me smile, because after all these years I still understand why I did what I did. Of course it wasn’t all good. I was always kind of a wild child.
A little rebel, but rebels never die.. 😉
After all the bad things there always came something better. Everything happened to push me forward on my path. Sometimes things have to break apart to make space for something new, something better.
So much has happened, so many amazing memories.
So much laughter, tears, feelings, pain, heartbreaks, travels, smiles, adventures, silly shit, deep conversations, new friendships, idiots, dramas, risks I took, endless ups and downs… My personal telenovela.
Reading in my diary, about my personal story, helped me to see why things had to happen. I definitely will start again writing in my diary.
While reading is very helpful, it certainly can be comforting to write. When you read you can analyse your past and find out why things happened. It can make you realize how far you have come. And of course it is a lot of fun to remember life’s little details.
Writing for me is like therapy. It helps me to bring order in my thoughts and see things clear.
Life will always give you good and bad times, but it’s up to you how you handle every situation.
Write your story and make sure that you are the writer and not the actor. Write your own novel, it is your life!
Go for the everything